These are great:
REG REAGAN runs the rule over every NSW and Queensland player ahead of Game II and he hasn’t held back!
NSW
JARRYD HAYNE
Says the turning point in his career was being shot at six years ago at Kings Cross. He says, ``It taught me the importance of speed and evasion’’.
DANIEL TUPOU
Going into this Origin II camp, Laurie Daley urged the young man to talk more and he actually did... Then he was encouraged to talk less!
JOSH DUGAN
Son of Queanbeyan grog monster, `Dave Dugan’. Dave recently went to give blood and when they drew it out, it formed a head. A man after my own heart.
MICHAEL JENNINGS
Is having his best season in years for the Roosters. Which isn’t saying much because his previous four years were pathetic.
WILLIAM HOPOATE
Recently returned from a Mormon mission where he broke the Mormon record for most Bibles sold. William said the secret to his selling success was kindness, as well as taking his father John, just in case they were considering not buying.
JOSH REYNOLDS
A typical rough, tough Western Suburbs boy. Was homesick all week in Coffs Harbour and had trouble sleeping. Eventually Laurie Daley had to stand outside his hotel room window and fire a handgun, just to make him feel at home.
TRENT HODKINSON
Has a huge phoenix tattoo emblazoned across his chest to remind him of all the injuries he’s overcome, and also a cellmate he became particularly fond of during a stint in Long Bay prison.
PAUL GALLEN
When the great Bob Fulton labelled Paul Gallen a possible future Immortal, Gallen said it was his proudest moment. No-one has had the guts to tell Paul that Bozo was joking.
ROBBIE FARAH
Was at the centre of all the post-game celebrations at full-time as coach Laurie Daley turned Robbie upside down and used his nose as a yard glass for teammates to drink out of.
AARON WOODS
Last week, he put his Leichhardt house up for sale. The real estate guide described the house as, ``Just like its footballing owner, large, ugly and rather empty upstairs’’.
BEAU SCOTT
One of the true heroes of Origin I. He walked into the sheds at full-time and collapsed, not through exhaustion but when he was reminded he had to go back and play for the Knights.
RYAN HOFFMAN
Stood up after Origin I and gave a stirring victory speech, it’s just a shame his teammates didn’t respect him enough to listen to it.
GREG BIRD
Has been brought into the NSW side because of a distinct lack of nastiness and suspect facial hair being the only thing missing from our Origin I performance.
JAMES TAMOU
His Origin I performance was superb. Coach Laurie Daley described his performance as ``almost as strong as his body odour.’’
ANTHONY WATMOUGH
Laurie Daley paid tribute to Anthony Watmough’s new found maturity. Daley said, ``Last camp he actually managed to string a sentence together and spelt dog three times without making a mistake’’.
TRENT MERRIN
Or otherwise known as the fat, slow bloke who dates Sally Fitzgibbons. Sally, like most celebrities, does her bit for charity causes, but dating Trent Merrin is taking things too far.
LUKE LEWIS
Says he misses the threat of violence and all around general hostility of Penrith. Lewis said when it comes to violence, Cronulla really lacks consistency and needs to aim up, more than the occasional Australia Day.
QUEENSLAND
BILLY SLATER
Poor diddums was apparently in doubt for the game after someone forced him to make the first tackle in his career and his shoulder’s a little sore. Pull out the violins everyone. Billy’s in the real world now. If only his heart was as big as his nose.
DARIUS BOYD
When Darius plays for Queensland his motto is, ``Never say die’’. When he plays for Newcastle, he obviously confuses that with, ``Never say try’’.
GREG INGLIS
Aggravated a knee injury he first hurt while trying to tow ``that boat’’ from Melbourne to Sydney. Is confident he’ll play after realising the crack he heard wasn’t his ankle joint, but his credit card snapping.
JUSTIN HODGES
Popular Queensland player who lists his likes as yelling obscenities at the less fortunate and not offering his seat to the elderly on public transport.
BRENT TATE
Was distraught following Origin I after getting spear tackled by Josh Reynolds. He said, ``I saw my whole life flash before my eyes’’. He added later that it wasn’t the tackle which distressed him, but the fact he’d come to realise what a boring, meaningless life he’s led.
JOHNATHAN THURSTON
Won a Logie award for his near perfect depiction of a speed hump during Origin I.
DALY CHERRY-EVANS
Nicknamed ``Cherry Ripe’’ because like the chocolate bar exciting, reinvigorating and smooth on the palate. After watching his Origin I performance, he should be renamed ``Flake’’, bland, rather boring and falls apart with very little pressure.
MATT SCOTT
Rough, tough North Queensland boy, likes nothing more than a good feed and a fight. He can’t fight but by the look of him he certainly knows how to feed.
CAMERON SMITH
``Pops’’ had a shocker in game I and spent the majority of the match limping around after losing his walking stick while changing his adult nappy at half-time.
NATE MYLES
Has earned the tag of ``Most hated Queenslander’’ and that’s just by his Maroons teammates. Likes to lead with his head, whether it be in games, at training or in the showers.
MATT GILLETT
Impressed many with his performance in Origin I ... unfortunately they were mainly family members or friends. Voted for himself as Queensland’s best on-ground.
AIDAN GUERRA
Stood up after Origin I in the Maroons shed and declared what an honour it was to play alongside his teammates. It’s a shame that they didn’t feel the same way about him.
SAM THAIDAY
One of the game’s fairest players, unless he spots an opponent who is vulnerable, smaller than he is and has his back turned, and then he’ll take a ruthless cheap shot. Lists his likes as parking in handicapped spots and stealing from the blind.
JACOB LILLYMAN
A huge cheer went up when Lillyman’s name was read out for this game ... nearly all the cheering was from Blues supporters.
BEN TE’O
Laurie Daley was so impressed by the way Nine news reporter Danny Weidler stood up to Ben Te’o at Rabbitohs’ training last week. Daley has made Weidler 18th man for NSW and is seriously considering giving him a bench spot.
DAVE TAYLOR
Nicknamed the ``coal train’’, because he’s big, ugly, unreliable and breaks down when the going gets tough.
CHRIS MCQUEEN
Was close to the Blues’ best player in Origin I. Hopefully Mal gives him more time tonight so he can entertain us even further with his hilarious fumbling and bumbling. A real court jester.
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