Did you have tracking and could clearly show it was still in AUS/Airport or wherever? (sorry I haven't read all of thread)
I used the $39 air express registered with all the tracking, email notifications and SMS, the card was sitting at the airport in safe holding since the start of March before being sent to Taiwan 2 weeks ago.
The buyer put in a claim after 30 days and I had to refund the buyer $639 because the tracking did not show that it was delivered but the tracking did say it was still in transit.
I appealed eBay's decision because the tracking still showed that it was in transit and waiting in safe holding. My appeal was denied on the grounds that it had not been delivered after 30 days (eBay policy) and I was told to send a request to the buyer through PayPal once it has been delivered.
eBay simply wiped their hands clean and closed the case after I exhausted my one and only appeal, the buyer finally received the card last week which means they had received their card and the $639 back. I jumped on eBay chat again and asked what course of action I could take but they simply said it was my fault that it had not been delivered within the 30 days and they can no longer assist.
I sent the buyer a PayPal payment request for $639 and a nice message last weekend with the hopes that they would do the right thing and honour that payment and they did earlier this week. The buyer paid for the card and shipping which they didn't have to and It finally worked out in the end.
The key to all this from my experience is to maintain communication with the buyer on a weekly basis twice sometimes three times a week to update them about the card and don't let your emotions take over or jump to conclusions. I maintained contact with the buyer and kept my cool, once the tracking showed up as delivered that's when I should of launched an appeal through eBay but I used up my one chance and had no recourse of action after that, so save your appeal until it shows up as delivered.
Save your one and only chance for an appeal once it shows up online as delivered, that was my one mistake that stopped any chance of a refund through eBay, I'm just lucky the buyer was honest and I'm grateful for that.