What to do when you hit rock bottom

oz-antoine · May 9, 2007

Well you may or may not have noticed but I havn't been on here in a while and havn't really posted anything for months. I've been going through some really tough times and I'm starting to wonder whats the point of anything.

I've lost the girl who I was set on proposing to down the track, I've dropped all but 1 of my uni subjects, I'm barely getting enough work to pay bills and get by and my mates, well they aren't really there when I need them. In fact one of thems off with my now ex.

I havn't bought anymore than 1 or 2 cards in the last few months and I'm at the point of thinking maybe they should all just go. I mean in the whole big picture of life they seem like nothing and getting anything new just doesn't interest me anymore. It seems that everything else is so much more important than material things.

I'm finding it really hard to get through the days and to be honest I'm not sure if I even want to be here anymore. Everyone I've ever trusted has betrayed it and if thats what people are like then what have I got to look forward to. I know your going to say "but not everyone's like that" but thats what I thought of some of these people too. I've been through bad times before but this seems like rock bottom and I really can't see it getting much better for a long long time, so why bother.

mattyj · May 9, 2007

Mate,all i can say is things will get better, and dont do anything you will regret, which will include selling your Toine's, you know at some stage you are going to look back and wish you hadn't..

as for your mate going off with ya ex, thats ****ed, mates dont do that, so he obviously wasnt a friend

Ive been at rock bottom before wondering whats the point of it all, but do trust me mate, things will get better...

AndrewG23 · May 9, 2007

mate, trust me, keep collecting. im going through tough times also, and collecting cards, growing my personal collection, is keeping me going. it may not seem things will get better for a long time, but if you keep your chin up, and not worry about anyone but yourself, your going to feel heaps better in no time.

take care man,
andy.

hobbibox · May 9, 2007

Hey Oz mate , I'm a person who can definately say I've been there and im also going through that now ASWELL and I just broke up with my g/f of almost 3 years after she did the same thing as yours. Just remember this mate as it helps me alot.....be lucky that you have seen these people for what they really are.. NOW and not in 1,5 or 10 years time..its less time you've had to waste on them as they dont deserve your time.
I suggest doing what I have and take a week or 2 just to yourself ...dont call anyone turn ya phone off and I guarantee you in this time you will find yourself and what you really want to do with your time. I can honestly say I know it is tough but it gets better and I hope this has helped in some way...PM me anytime if ya feel like talking Good Luck mate Cal (Shoes):v:

ljandkg · May 9, 2007

Hey Oz - sounds like tough times - u got some family around to help out? Go see a bro or uncle somewhere for a change of scenery??

I can kinda understand the going off cards thing - I stopped collecting for 5 years and wondered why I had at all.

IMO - I'd get on the blower - call a rellie somewhere and see if u can go visit....

oz-antoine · May 9, 2007

I've been through break ups before and its not just that, its alot more this time. Alot of people have left my life and I just feel really empty about every part of my life.

Shoes, thats a good point but its hard to accept that of the person you thought you knew so well and trusted with everything you have. Its been around 2 months now and it feels like its getting worse. About 2 weeks ago I went to the Gold Coast for a week to try and clear my head but when I got back it all came rushing back.

The problem instead of thinking about myself all I can think about is other people and whats going to happen to them still. I've tried blocking it out but I can't.

ljandkg · May 9, 2007

Family????

hobbibox · May 9, 2007

Yer mate I feel exactly the same but obviously not In quite the shape you are I was also planning on becomming engaged at Xmas time, so I came as a total shock that someone you've been with for that long could do something like that. But you have to take stock and move forward as hard as it is...because leopards dont change there spots, you deserve better and theres only one person that can make that happen and its you.
I think I devulged enough of my private life on the public forums now but if you wanna chat as I said mate feel free to PM me and I'll help in anyway I can. cheers Cal (Shoes)

theflyinggerco · May 9, 2007

I agree with LJ&KG.

You need to take some time for yourself, hopefully away from where you live now, and decide whats best for you, whether it be finishing uni or starting work and defering for awhile. But the most important thing is that, like Shoes said, the true colours of these people who you considered to be important to you have been revealed. And they weren't good.

I had a simliar situation were my gf at the time and myself had some issues and personal problems, and i decided to leave (from east victoria to darwin, thats maybe a touch extreme, but its an example) to get away and rethink what important. I worked from me, and helped me be a bit more discerning with people (or become a rude introvert like my current gf reckons)

Good Luck and hope I and rest of us have given you a few paths to consider

JZA · May 9, 2007

yep, been there and felt the kind of shit your feeling right now. ive done the whole "nothing in my life is giving me any happiness any more, whats the ****ing point" period, and its really a bad time. im not going to offer sympathy, as thats not what you need.

if anything is going to get you out of this hole youve fallen into, its you mate. people say, rely on friends, rely on family, talk to a counsellor/psychologist blah blah blah. but sometimes you dont have that luxury. when it comes down to it, the only person you can depend on is yourself. make a decision, do you want your life to improve or are you happy to wallow in this bullshit depression? simple answer huh? but depression is a deceptive thing, as it becomes a crutch after a while with which you depend on.

the most important thing to do is to change things up. get out of routines you've depended on and change your life, in drastic ways if needed. dont hang around the same places ,with the same people. if its your job you hate, quit it. if uni is becoming a drag, defer for a year. a change of scenery is always good, if youve got the money, travel. see things youve never seen before. experiencing a different culture is one of the most fulfilling things you can do.

as for your cards, they dont mean shit when you get down to brass tacks. mere possessions, possessions which provide a level of enjoyment for a period of time. only sell them if your going to spend the money on something which is going to really enrich your life, not merely spend the money on another possession. its up to you though, whether you keep the cards or not, its not going to make a huge difference to your current lack of happiness, which should be the biggest priority for you right now.

stay strong brother, i hope you pull through. heartbreak is a ****ed up thing, but if thats the most painful thing you experience in your life, consider yourself extremely lucky. it will pass, as does everything in the universe. nothing is forever.

ive been through the same feelings mate, so if you wanna chat, shoot us a PM.

oz-antoine · May 9, 2007

I've had a few d n' m's with mum and I've had a chat with my bro aswell but they don't fix the problem they only listen and try and comfort the situation.

hobbibox · May 9, 2007

JZA said:
yep, been there and felt the kind of shit your feeling right now. ive done the whole "nothing in my life is giving me any happiness any more, whats the ****ing point" period, and its really a bad time. im not going to offer sympathy, as thats not what you need.

if anything is going to get you out of this hole youve fallen into, its you mate. people say, rely on friends, rely on family, talk to a counsellor/psychologist blah blah blah. but sometimes you dont have that luxury. when it comes down to it, the only person you can depend on is yourself. make a decision, do you want your life to improve or are you happy to wallow in this bullshit depression? simple answer huh? but depression is a deceptive thing, as it becomes a crutch after a while with which you depend on.

the most important thing to do is to change things up. get out of routines you've depended on and change your life, in drastic ways if needed. dont hang around the same places ,with the same people. if its your job you hate, quit it. if uni is becoming a drag, defer for a year. a change of scenery is always good, if youve got the money, travel. see things youve never seen before. experiencing a different culture is one of the most fulfilling things you can do.

as for your cards, they dont mean shit when you get down to brass tacks. mere possessions, possessions which provide a level of enjoyment for a period of time. only sell them if your going to spend the money on something which is going to really enrich your life, not merely spend the money on another possession. its up to you though, whether you keep the cards or not, its not going to make a huge difference to your current lack of happiness, which should be the biggest priority for you right now.

stay strong brother, i hope you pull through. heartbreak is a ****ed up thing, but if thats the most painful thing you experience in your life, consider yourself extremely lucky. it will pass, as does everything in the universe. nothing is forever.

ive been through the same feelings mate, so if you wanna chat, shoot us a PM.

For the 1st time ever I totally agree with JZA

theflyinggerco · May 9, 2007

oz-antoine said:
I've had a few d n' m's with mum and I've had a chat with my bro aswell but they don't fix the problem they only listen and try and comfort the situation.

If they not helping then cut them off for a while mate.

Find someone, like the people who have offered on these boards, who dont really know you and dont really care about you in the way your parents and other family members do, and talk about your issues, and figure out a way to dig yourself out of the hole you have dug yourself into.

Once again, good luck, and if i can be anymore help, PM me.

oz-antoine · May 9, 2007

Cheers guys really appreciate it. I guess the reason I posted this here was to find some answers as to what I should do and get some real responses from life experienced people, not a few teenie boppers putting in their 2c.

I'm the sort of person who relies on friends for everything and I always try to be there for my mates. Although when your ex shares all the same mutual friends and you see them nearly every week it adds to it and I feel I can't cut it off as I need to be were my friends are too.

I'm 23 and I've just started second year uni subjects and I just feel I've left it to late and now its being affected more and I'm running out of time.

I agree totally JZA about the cards and I guess they would just be replaced by another possession so theres not much point there.

bas · May 9, 2007

hey mate this is really weird because i have just been through a very very similar situation, my gf of 6 yrs broke it off with me about 5 months ago then i find out her and my best mate were seeing eachother after we seperated right under my nose and i tell ya i thought about giving up but i kept on going and as of last night we r back together but thats not the point the point is that it gets easier, piss that so called friend off and try 2 look at the positives like i found some such as u can get whatever u want when u go shopping example being frozen meals and take away a single mans best friend , and u now have a legit bachelor pad , u never know what the future may hold my friend!!!

33WING · May 9, 2007

We all have problems on a daily basis, some worse than others.
Life wouldn't be life without any problems, take a step back and look at the problems from an external perspective.

It will help even more if you do not treat the problems as your own and it sounds like their not your own. Take time out & go on a short trip to find solutions with a clear mind, It won't get rid of the problems instead it will guide you through them with hopefully less pain.

Once you start blaming yourself your feeding yourself negative energy, worrying, false hopes & use of unnecessary energy. Think about those negatives around you and simply let them go without hesitation.

Life's too short to be taken seriously, keep the cards and get away for a while from all the negative energy. You'll be amazed.

ace e · May 9, 2007

i have never been in a situation with being dumped for a mate but when life gets me down i go back to basics, i have clothes, food and shelter. Then i build from there and add the positives. Now you mention $ as being a problem, selling some stuff might be a temporary fix but its not going to sustain.
You need to cut some of your fixed expenses (switch to a prepaid mobile etc) Also if your studies are suffering defer and go on a working holiday, this will get you away from your current surrounds. This could be around Australia or wherever. If your like me and hate to travel alone, see if a close mate is interested in doing something similar.
Either way i think distance from your current situation can help heal things.
Best of luck and dont do anything that could get you into trouble or worse.

gemini0928 · May 9, 2007

oz-antoine said:
Well you may or may not have noticed but I havn't been on here in a while and havn't really posted anything for months. I've been going through some really tough times and I'm starting to wonder whats the point of anything.

I've lost the girl who I was set on proposing to down the track, I've dropped all but 1 of my uni subjects, I'm barely getting enough work to pay bills and get by and my mates, well they aren't really there when I need them. In fact one of thems off with my now ex.

I havn't bought anymore than 1 or 2 cards in the last few months and I'm at the point of thinking maybe they should all just go. I mean in the whole big picture of life they seem like nothing and getting anything new just doesn't interest me anymore. It seems that everything else is so much more important than material things.

I'm finding it really hard to get through the days and to be honest I'm not sure if I even want to be here anymore. Everyone I've ever trusted has betrayed it and if thats what people are like then what have I got to look forward to. I know your going to say "but not everyone's like that" but thats what I thought of some of these people too. I've been through bad times before but this seems like rock bottom and I really can't see it getting much better for a long long time, so why bother.

Hi Mate,

I feel miserable right now with whats going on with my life but there is no such thing as "rock bottom". It is more of we are in a "hole" and it will be up to us on how deep we dig this "hole".

I just hope that you wont dig deeper. The deeper you dig the harder you could climb back on top. Believe me Man!

Letting go off your Walker collection is not the end of the world either. If its going to help you to pay out some of your bills then let it go. You can always get them back later once you sort things out (if you miss them). To tell you the truth, these are just piece of card boards but we do it for hobby. I do it for hobby. Collecting cards keep me away from trouble... I let go my Nicer Grant Hill collection a few months ago. At first i wasnt sure of what I was doing but in the end, it was not a problem.

I hope things turn around for you. Life is like a wheel as we know it. Sometimes were down and sometimes we're up...

-Alf

Ja$e · May 9, 2007

Sorry to hear about your problems mate, I'm a bit like you in my family and mates mean everything to me.

The fact that you posted here about your troubles is a good sign and it means you are looking for help, guidance and support.

Something that helps me, even though it is very hard to do, is to talk to the people that you have issues with open and honestly which I find relieves a lot of pressure off yourself and it is a step in going forward and gettin gsome closure. I'm a person who wears there heart on their sleeve, and sometimes you just have to get things out there to feel better yourself and start mendingthe broken things in your life.

Good luck with it all and feel free to contact me and I'm sure other members on this forum.

ScottE · May 9, 2007

Sorry to here that mate, as everyone has said try and keep your chin up. We have all been there at some stage, but you realise what's really important. After my misses left a couple of weeks later my Pop was diaignosed with cancer and it really pails in conparrison to the other things that are going on. It will get better mate and there are plenty of other sexy women out there.

What to do when you hit rock bottom

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